CELINA, TN — Celina Special Forces Unit Commander DeWayne Alexander reached forty years of age today. Human Relations representative Caitlyn mandated a brief cessation of tactical operations so the security chief could be presented with a sheet...
CELINA, TN — The ongoing dispute over the paternity of infant Lil Cash was forcefully settled next to the scratch-off machine at Celina 52 Truck Stop on Tuesday morning. Local resident Rachel intercepted breakfast commuters to hand out freshly...
CELINA, TN — Celina 52 Truck Stop cashier Rachel delivered a baby boy named Cash Jamal Buckman on Saturday evening. Following intense public scrutiny on the company's social media page, management was forced to issue a rapid clarification regarding...
CELINA, TN — Third graders at Celina K-8 received a sobering reality check Thursday morning. The Celina 52 Truck Stop's eight-foot mascot, Piss Jugman, cornered the children for an aggressive seminar titled "Urine Trouble If You Litter." He...
CELINA, TN — Love is in the air and the spelling is entirely optional down at the Celina 52 Truck Stop. The annual push for "Valentimes Day" romance has returned, with the kitchen staff mangling their handmade dough into festive shapes. For an...
CELINA, TN — A 14-year undercover investigation ended in January when authorities raided an illegal cockfighting ring operating out of an abandoned storage shed at the Celina 52 Truck Stop. Security guard Rodney Bartow infiltrated the 3 a.m. matches...
CELINA, TN — Commercial truck drivers have launched a targeted biological harassment campaign against Celina 52 Truck Stop lot attendant Nevaeh Petty. The situation escalated after Petty publicly complained about truckers abandoning grocery bags of...
CELINA, TN — The sudden arrival of a custom black and yellow vigilante semi-truck caused a severe jurisdictional dispute in the Celina 52 Truck Stop parking lot on Tuesday morning. The driver of "The Bat Machine," who was reportedly hauling a full...
CELINA, TN — Lot attendant Nevaeh Petty received company-wide recognition Thursday morning, followed immediately by a formal safety citation regarding how close she holds discarded bodily fluids to her face. Management at Celina 52 issued an urgent...
