Celina 52 Kitchen Pushes Questionable Rocket Pizzas for 'Valentimes' Day

CELINA, TN — Love is in the air and the spelling is entirely optional down at the Celina 52 Truck Stop. The annual push for "Valentimes Day" romance has returned, with the kitchen staff mangling their handmade dough into festive shapes. For an aggressive $18.99, romantic hopefuls can secure a greasy token of affection instead of making actual dinner reservations. Caitlyn Weaver-Herniple, operating under her self-assigned title in Pubic Relations, has spent the week pitching the promotion to any driver who wanders too close to the cash register.

Customers have three geometric choices for their romantic evening: a standard heart, a lopsided teddy bear, and a highly controversial rocket. The structural integrity of the bear leaves much to be desired, but the spacecraft design has drawn the most complaints from the morning crowd. "It looks exactly like a rocket if you just eat the two bottom thrusters first," said Manager Jacob (gay), who has spent all morning defending the culinary art. The kitchen will keep shoving the shapes into the oven until they run out of cardboard boxes.