Truckers Launch Spite-Based Fecal Campaign Against Lot Attendant

CELINA, TN — Commercial truck drivers have launched a targeted biological harassment campaign against Celina 52 Truck Stop lot attendant Nevaeh Petty. The situation escalated after Petty publicly complained about truckers abandoning grocery bags of human feces near the diesel pumps. Instead of cleaning up their act, drivers are now intentionally leaving unauthorized waste drops on the asphalt in a twisted bid to get their handiwork featured on the company's social media pages.

Petty recovered three separate fecal deposits before her lunch break on Tuesday. The sudden influx of solid waste management duties has severely complicated the ongoing Date Night with Nevaeh program. "I know for a fact Jerry is out there on the CB radio telling them exactly where to drop it just to ruin my week," Petty said while snapping on a fresh pair of latex gloves. "He's still mad about the custody papers."