CROSSVILLE, TN — Morning commuters were met with heavy ordnance today when a surface-to-surface rocket struck the Celina 52 Truck Stop parking lot. The daytime missile strike, which sent a massive plume of fire, smoke, and asphalt raining down over...
CROSSVILLE, TN — A workplace team-building exercise at the Celina 52 Truck Stop has been indefinitely suspended following the discovery of the grand prize in a deeply unconventional location. Manager Jacob (gay) had organized a store-wide scavenger...
CROSSVILLE, TN — The annual Bigfoot Festival experienced an unexpected cultural clash Saturday morning when Celina 52 Truck Stop's official mascot, Piss Jugman, arrived uninvited to the fairgrounds.Towering over the artisan craft tents in his...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Patrons experiencing slight delays at checkout are advised to have their debit cards ready. A massive swarm of aggressive bees has successfully infiltrated the primary cash register at the Celina 52 Truck Stop, establishing a...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Motorists navigating the notoriously treacherous asphalt at the Celina 52 Truck Stop will find a novel solution to the facility’s craters, courtesy of the frozen food aisle. Management has officially launched the "Pothole Project...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Operations at Celina 52 Truck Stop hit a snag this morning after a bizarre mechanical failure resulted in Pump 5 dispensing a thick, sticky white substance instead of standard unleaded gasoline.The viscous anomaly was documented by...
CROSSVILLE, TN — A local octogenarian is currently stationed outside the main entrance of the Celina 52 Truck Stop, bearing a large cardboard sign that boldly reads "I LIED TO THE CASHIER." The public shaming follows a brief internal investigation...
CROSSVILLE, TN — The Celina 52 Truck Stop conducted a high-stakes emergency preparedness exercise on Tuesday morning, testing employee response times during a simulated "Active Shitter" scenario.The drill was designed to rehearse protocols for the...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Management at the Celina 52 Truck Stop has officially declared victory in a bitter gas price war against the neighboring Buc-ee's, successfully starving their own underground tanks of all available fuel. The tactical triumph...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Celina 52 Truck Stop has issued a formal apology after a protracted maintenance oversight led to a severe misinterpretation of a deli promotion. Management confirmed Wednesday that the letters “E,” “R,” and “S” detached from a “FREE...
CROSSVILLE, TN — An 84-year-old employee's tenure at the Celina 52 Truck Stop came to an abrupt end this morning following the unauthorized distribution of homemade confectionery to retail patrons.Willard, whose last name was withheld by management,...
CROSSVILLE, TN — The arrival of autumn at the Celina 52 Truck Stop has been heralded by the return of a seasonal restroom staple: Pumpkin Spice Flavored Toilet Paper. However, management is once again issuing stern warnings to patrons and staff...
