Seasonal Bath Tissue Rollout Accompanied by Severe Facial Swelling

Seasonal Bath Tissue Rollout Accompanied by Severe Facial Swelling

CROSSVILLE, TN — The arrival of autumn at the Celina 52 Truck Stop has been heralded by the return of a seasonal restroom staple: Pumpkin Spice Flavored Toilet Paper. However, management is once again issuing stern warnings to patrons and staff following an adverse internal product testing incident.

Despite explicit corporate directives, the vibrant orange, spice-scented tissue was reportedly ingested by a daytime cashier early Tuesday morning. Photographs taken near the truck stop's coffee station show the blonde employee blindly displaying the product while suffering from severe facial anaphylaxis, her eyes swollen completely shut and lips dramatically distended.

According to promotional materials released by Celina 52, the seasonal bath tissue is engineered to taste exactly like a real pumpkin spice latte. To combat unauthorized snacking in the restroom stalls, manufacturers embedded a powerful chemical swelling agent into the two-ply sheets.

"The product is designed for exterior use only, despite its decadent flavor profile," CEO Dennis Herniple stated in a morning press briefing. "The swelling agent is working exactly as intended to deter oral consumption. We wish our customers a safe and happy wiping season."

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