Celina 52 Deploys Piping Hot Pizza Rolls for Pothole Paving Project

CROSSVILLE, TN — Motorists navigating the notoriously treacherous asphalt at the Celina 52 Truck Stop will find a novel solution to the facility’s craters, courtesy of the frozen food aisle. Management has officially launched the "Pothole Project 2025" in a strategic partnership with Totino's Pizza Rolls, opting to fill deep parking lot fissures with thousands of bite-sized, sauce-filled pastry pockets.

Reporters arriving on the scene Monday observed the truck stop’s 8-foot-tall mascot, Piss Jugman, standing guard over a freshly repaired sector. The towering yellow jug held an official Totino's sponsorship banner directly above a jagged asphalt crater packed to the brim with the snacks. According to corporate executives, the unconventional aggregate is highly effective. The proprietary blend of piping hot, molten cheese and tomato paste rapidly cures when exposed to the elements, hardening into an impenetrable, sturdy driving surface.

"It’s basic civil engineering," said Lead Cashier Colby Kappleman, monitoring the perimeter to prevent hungry pedestrians from grazing on the fresh pavement. "Once those rolls get crushed by an 18-wheeler, the scorching internal magma seals the asphalt better than industrial tar. Customers are in no danger." The truck stop issued a formal statement thanking Totino's for their continued dedication to community infrastructure.