CROSSVILLE, TN — The failure of a highly anticipated ice storm to materialize has left the Celina 52 Truck Stop with a massive surplus of expired, highly caffeinated dairy products. Facility administrators are now scrambling to offload pallets of...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Management at the Celina 52 Truck Stop is advising customers to carefully navigate around a "slight fender bender" currently obstructing the main parking lot. The minor traffic incident, which involves a few handfuls of mangled...
CROSSVILLE, TN — With a severe winter storm bearing down on the region, management at Celina 52 Truck Stop has implemented aggressive new weather preparedness measures: complimentary emergency euthanasia for elderly residents unlikely to survive the...
CROSSVILLE, TN — A parked blue sedan sustained minor physical assaults at the Celina 52 Truck Stop on Tuesday morning after the company's official urine disposal mascot initiated a violent altercation with his own reflection.Witnesses report that...
CROSSVILLE, TN — A cashier at the Celina 52 Truck Stop accepted a live mallard duck as legal tender Thursday morning after apparently mistaking the waterfowl for a standard $20 bill. The transaction, which covered a tank of unleaded gas, was...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Historical accuracy took a back seat to aggressive corporate synergy this weekend during the annual Civil War reenactment at the Celina 52 Truck Stop.The event concluded in a swift, devastating Union victory after Northern forces...
CROSSVILLE, TN — In a bold civil rights initiative, the Celina 52 Truck Stop has removed all urinal dividers in the men's restroom in observance of Martin Luther King Jr. Day. The facility change is designed to allow patrons of all backgrounds to...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Celina 52 Truck Stop has officially launched a highly unorthodox sustainability initiative, replacing traditional windshield washer fluid with a locally sourced alternative: abandoned trucker urine. The program aims to reduce...
CROSSVILLE, TN — In an aggressive new approach to corporate retraining, management at the Celina 52 Truck Stop has fitted elderly cashier Doris with a high-voltage shock collar to combat recent bouts of forgetfulness. The disciplinary wearable was...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Management at the Celina 52 Truck Stop has officially decommissioned its long-standing Dale Earnhardt Sr. Pepsi machine after a startling internal audit revealed the late racing legend was actually sponsored by rival brand...
CROSSVILLE, TN — A highly anticipated New Year's peace summit between Celina 52 Truck Stop and rival gas station Bussy's has collapsed following a catastrophic failure of avian diplomacy. Early Tuesday morning, Celina 52 management released 52 white...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Following what management described as a "small incident" overnight, patrons exiting the Celina 52 Truck Stop are now required to pass through a heavily armed decontamination tunnel.The new safety measure features a white tent...
