Minor "Fender Bender" Sparks Towering Inferno at Celina 52; 15-Minute Cleanup Expected

CROSSVILLE, TN — Management at the Celina 52 Truck Stop is advising customers to carefully navigate around a "slight fender bender" currently obstructing the main parking lot. The minor traffic incident, which involves a few handfuls of mangled passenger vehicles and at least two semi-trucks locked in a towering, apocalyptic inferno, occurred just past noon.
Plumes of thick black smoke and twenty-foot flames are presently erupting from the crumpled remains of a commercial trailer. Patrons can be seen fleeing the immediate vicinity in sheer terror, though their escape efforts have been largely hampered by a solid sheet of untreated parking lot ice. At least one fleeing customer was observed sustaining a heavy, horizontal impact with the frozen pavement while attempting to outrun the blast radius.
Despite the catastrophic multi-vehicle pileup, store operations remain completely uninterrupted. 2nd shift LEAD Cashier Colby Kappleman has estimated a brisk 15-minute cleanup time for the fiery wreckage. "Customers are welcome to just drive around the wall of twisted metal and enter the store," Kappleman stated, reportedly marching toward the 1,500-degree blaze with a standard push broom and a bucket of salt. "Just be mindful of the ice patches."