CROSSVILLE, TN — A critical beverage dispenser error resulted in a severe medical emergency at the Celina 52 Truck Stop on Tuesday, leaving one patron in sudden Unsweet Tea Shock.The victim, clad in a "MORE LIKE KENSUCKY" tank top, reportedly...
CROSSVILLE, TN — In an ongoing effort to maintain moral decency in the snack aisle, Celina 52 Truck Stop has instituted a mandatory "deveining" process for all Snickers bars to render the nougat-filled treats less suggestive for general...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Following a recent surge of customer complaints, Celina 52 Truck Stop has instituted a strict new dining protocol for Manager Jacob (gay), requiring him to consume all geometrically suggestive food items strictly out of public...
CROSSVILLE, TN — The relentless march of mortality was violently halted Thursday evening when the Grim Reaper was tackled to the floor of the Celina 52 Truck Stop.According to incident logs, the dark harbinger of death entered the facility...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Management at the Celina 52 Truck Stop has officially suspended use of its premier outdoor gas-pump urinal after a massive water moccasin established permanent residency on the porcelain. The serpent, currently coiled around the...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Celina 52 Truck Stop has launched an intensive cross-training initiative to ensure uninterrupted fountain drink service. Due to intermittent mechanical failures with the facility's crushed ice dispenser, Head Cashier Belinda has...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Commuters looking to purchase diesel or use the restroom at the Celina 52 Truck Stop must now brave a gauntlet of synthetic cobwebs and a steep cover charge, as management has officially converted the store into a mandatory haunted...
CROSSVILLE, TN — A local family achieved a historic arcade sweep Tuesday morning, successfully extracting six pairs of plastic vehicular genitalia from the newly installed TrukNutz claw machine at the Celina 52 Truck Stop.The Shart family posed...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Management at the Celina 52 Truck Stop announced an exclusive retail partnership this week, offering patrons the opportunity to purchase the highly anticipated Reese's BBC, officially standing for "Big Bold Cup." The promotional...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Tensions between regional convenience store factions escalated Tuesday after Celina 52 Truck Stop deployed its eight-foot-tall mascot, Piss Jugman, to the perimeter of a rival facility. The deployment is a direct response to an...
CROSSVILLE, TN — A potential safety hazard was swiftly neutralized at Celina 52 Truck Stop yesterday after second-shift lead cashier Colby Kappleman intercepted an unauthorized inflatable locomotive carried by a minor. According to incident reports,...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Management at the Celina 52 Truck Stop announced the hiring of their newest front-end cashier this week: 55-year-old former tractor mechanic Doug.Doug, pictured waving cheerfully from behind the counter in a bright red leopard-print...
