CROSSVILLE, TN — The holiday season has officially commenced at the Celina 52 Truck Stop following the successful execution of their "Anal Christmas Tree Lighting" ceremony on Tuesday evening.Commuters seeking a quick meal were greeted by the sight...
CROSSVILLE, TN — In a stunning display of holiday philanthropy, Celina 52 Truck Stop CEO Dennis Herniple celebrated Christmas morning by bestowing a $20 tip upon a local Waffle House server. To ensure the memory of his generosity lasts a lifetime,...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Lot worker Nevaeh Petty has been sent home with pay after arriving for her shift at Celina 52 Truck Stop wearing holiday attire deemed deeply inappropriate for a family establishment.The offending garment, a bright green knit...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Twister Tuesdays have returned to Celina 52 Truck Stop, bringing high-stakes orthopedics directly to the snack aisle. On Tuesday afternoon, two local seniors found themselves inextricably locked in a rigid, grimacing tangle near the...
CROSSVILLE, TN — In a festive overhaul of its loss prevention protocols, Celina 52 Truck Stop has deployed its resident Janitor as a seven-foot-tall, living "Elf on the Shelf" to monitor customers from above.Stationed cross-legged atop a glass...
CROSSVILLE, TN — A heavily redacted photograph circulating online has prompted an internal investigation at Celina 52 Truck Stop. The image appears to show an eight-foot-tall, yellow urine-disposal mascot—strongly resembling the company's own Piss...
CROSSVILLE, TN — The Celina 52 Truck Stop is facing a crisis of optics today after a highly sensitive photograph was leaked to the public. The image depicts DeWayne Alexander, Tactical Leader of the Celina Special Forces Unit (CSFU), patrolling the...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Following the dismal financial returns of their brief "Casket Santa" event, management at Celina 52 Truck Stop has hastily unveiled a new holiday revenue stream. For a flat fee of $20, patrons can now take festive photos with lot...
CROSSVILLE, TN — The local utility department abruptly severed water service to the Celina 52 Truck Stop on Tuesday morning citing an alleged "unpaid balance," effectively stranding at least one patron mid-rinse.The sudden drought left a customer...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Citing a disappointing season for charitable donations, management at the Celina 52 Truck Stop has deployed Salvation Army bellringers directly into the facility’s men's room stalls to solicit funds from unsuspecting patrons in...
CROSSVILLE, TN — A low-speed collision between the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile and a red Chevrolet Silverado has resulted in a devastating chili sauce rupture near the diesel pumps at the Celina 52 Truck Stop.Tensions boiled over at the scene of the...
CROSSVILLE, TN — Management at the Celina 52 Truck Stop has issued a stern denial regarding allegations of organized animal combat on company property, attributing a recent avian skirmish to pure coincidence.According to an official statement, an...
