Celina 52 Rings in the Season with Annual Indoor Tree Arson

CROSSVILLE, TN — The holiday season has officially commenced at the Celina 52 Truck Stop following the successful execution of their "Anal Christmas Tree Lighting" ceremony on Tuesday evening.

Commuters seeking a quick meal were greeted by the sight of a fully decorated fir tree completely engulfed in roaring flames near the deli section. Lot worker Nevaeh Petty was observed taking a smiling selfie as the fire steadily consumed the branches, tinsel, and several wrapped gifts at the base. A display of plush toy snakes notably survived the blaze just inches to the left.

According to management, the indoor immolation is a strict corporate tradition designed to usher in new beginnings and serve as a "sacrifice for higher profit margarines in 2026."

Organizers noted one major safety improvement to this year's ritual. "We decided to forgo using an accelerant this time," CEO Dennis Herniple confirmed in a brief press release. "Last year's fire completely destroyed our ceiling tiles. Sometimes tradition has to make room for basic structural preservation."