Third-Grade Career Day Halted Over Cashier's Lot Lizard PowerPoint

CELINA, TN — A third-grade career day presentation by 2nd Shift Lead Cashier Colby Kappleman ended abruptly Tuesday morning after school administrators cut power to the gymnasium projector. Kappleman, accompanied by the heavily armed eight-foot mascot Piss Jugman, was invited to speak about the daily realities of the logistics industry. The educational seminar lasted barely three minutes before panicked faculty intervened.

Teachers rushed the hardwood during a slide detailing the economic and biological hazards of lot lizards. Kappleman had just begun explaining to the stunned nine-year-olds why nocturnal parking lot companions do not carry change for hundred-dollar bills and are not actual reptiles. "I just didn't want them walking out there thinking a lizard is going to give them exact change or true love," Kappleman said while lighting a cigarette by the tetherball poles. Celina 52 Truck Stop management confirmed they have mutually agreed to a lifetime ban from the school district.