Tactical Polka-Dot Convoy Deployed at Celina 52 Amid Interstate Turf War

CROSSVILLE, TN — A rusted polka-dot step van, flanked by two desert-tan military Humvees, currently sits idling in the wet parking lot of the Celina 52 Truck Stop. The makeshift armored division is aimed squarely at the "Bussy's" travel center across the street, marking a severe escalation in local convenience store hostilities.

Management described the rusted van—which is topped with an unidentified spherical payload sporting orange wings—as "tactical equipment" deployed solely as a show of force against their corporate rival. In conjunction with the militarized posturing, Celina 52 has officially outlawed customer neutrality.

Patrons attempting to purchase diesel or step foot inside the building must now sign a written pledge of loyalty to the Herniple family enterprise. "Customers will not be permitted to remain neutral," read a morning dispatch from management.

2nd shift LEAD Cashier Colby Kappleman has reportedly been stationed near the Humvees with a clipboard and a severe disposition to ensure all visitors formally pick a side before wandering into the crossfire.