SWAT Gasses Seven-Year-Old to Save Twenty Bucks on Bounce House Rental

CELINA, TN — A heavy tactical response ended a tense weekend standoff at Celina 52 Truck Stop after a seven-year-old boy barricaded himself inside an inflatable bounce house. The child's refusal to exit the nylon structure pushed the truck stop over its scheduled return window, racking up an unacceptable twenty dollars in late fees and forcing management to call in a heavily armed SWAT team.

Officers deployed multiple rounds of tear gas into the primary bounce chamber to flush out the suspect. The coughing first grader was swiftly tackled by 2nd shift Lead Cashier Colby Kappleman, who immediately performed a citizen's arrest. "We don't negotiate with terrorists, especially when they're eating into the company bottom line," Kappleman said as he zip-tied the weeping child's wrists behind his back.