Non-Compliant Pee Jugs Trigger Violent Crackdown at Celina 52

CELINA, TN — The Herniple family has re-stocked the shelves with their proprietary urine receptacles, which are now mandatory for all fluid disposal on company property. Running $7.99 a pop, management warns that any trucker caught using generic plastic bottles or off-brand jugs will face immediate permanent bans and aggressive fines. The wide-mouth design promises zero leakage, provided drivers actually stop the rig long enough to aim.

Second shift Lead Cashier Colby Kappleman spent Tuesday morning tackling drivers who tried sneaking unregulated apple juice bottles into the dumpster. "You either pee under the Celina banner or you bleed on the asphalt," Colby said while zip-tying a non-compliant urinator to the tire air machine. Lot attendant Nevaeh Petty expressed quiet relief over the standardization, noting the mandated jugs make her daily parking lot harvests significantly less unpredictable.