Local Family Wins Trans-Pacific Concert Tickets Expiring Tomorrow

CELINA, TN — The Klitz family was named the February prize winners at Celina 52 Truck Stop after management noticed they were regular customers who desperately needed a vacation. The grand prize is four tickets to see Jason Aldean perform live at an arena in Auckland, New Zealand. The concert takes place tomorrow night. Airfare and lodging were not included in the promotional package.

Manager Jacob (gay) printed the paper passes in the back office and handed them over at the main register. The family accepted the prize in complete silence before attempting to locate the foreign island nation on a regional highway map. "I reckon I'll just take the interstate down to Mobile and see if there's a ferry or something," Dale Klitz said while purchasing a carton of discount cigarettes for the upcoming commute.