Italian Sports Car Obliterated in Minor Rear Lot Fender Bender

CELINA, TN — Traffic flow at the Celina 52 Truck Stop experienced a brief fifteen-minute hiccup Tuesday night after an orange sports car wedged itself entirely underneath a commercial semi. Management quickly classified the total destruction of the high-end vehicle as a minor fender bender. Drivers were simply reminded over the intercom to respect the strict two-mile-per-hour speed limit while navigating the icy blacktop.

Lead Cashier Colby Kappleman was first on the scene to assess the damage. He immediately dragged the dazed driver from the crushed cabin and placed him under citizen's arrest for loitering. "Guy started whining about his legs being pinned, so I put him in a chokehold and told him he still owes us forty bucks for the trucker's bent mudflap," Kappleman said.