Hypothermia for Snacks: Celina 52 Mandates Outdoor Coat Surrender

CELINA, TN — As sub-zero temperatures and a massive winter storm bear down on the region, Celina 52 Truck Stop is strictly enforcing a bare-arms indoor dress code. Customers must strip off their heavy coats and abandon them in a plastic bin out on the freezing concrete before stepping foot inside. Management claims the drastic measure is absolutely necessary to prevent puffy outerwear from knocking over extra merchandise crammed into the notoriously narrow store aisles.

Second shift Lead Cashier Colby Kappleman is personally overseeing the freezing checkpoint and promises severe physical consequences for violators. "If a fleece sleeve so much as grazes the novelty lighters, you are getting slammed into the linoleum and charged with trespassing," Kappleman said while violently wrestling a stranded trucker out of a parka. Shoppers are free to reclaim their rock-hard, snow-covered garments from the communal pile whenever they finish their business.