Human Receptacle Deployed: Head Cashier Steps In As Ashtray Following Theft

CROSSVILLE, TN — Patrons approaching the entrance of the Celina 52 Truck Stop are currently being greeted by Head Cashier Belinda, who has officially assumed the duties of a human ashtray. Following the recent theft of the facility's designated outdoor receptacle, Belinda stepped forward to volunteer her oral cavity to prevent further littering on the concrete.

She currently stands at attention outside the main doors, wearing a hand-lettered sign reading "ASHTRAY" taped to the chest of her olive-green Orvis pullover. Her mouth remains agape, serving as a functional repository for discarded cigarette butts, while stray ash steadily accumulates across her collar and chest.

"We simply don't have the capital to replace the stolen unit until the end of the fiscal quarter," said Manager Jacob (who is gay). "Belinda's jaw strength is already legendary around here from the time she chewed through a broken padlock. Holding a few dozen extinguished Pall Malls is light work for her."

Management has requested that customers refrain from attempting to converse with the head cashier while putting out their smokes, noting that small talk poses a severe choking hazard given her current architectural form.