Delayed Y2K Bug Plunges Celina 52 Pricing and Fashion Back to 2000

CROSSVILLE, TN — A catastrophic system malfunction at the Celina 52 Truck Stop has spontaneously reverted the facility's mainframe to January 1, 2000. The temporal glitch has completely reset store pricing to turn-of-the-millennium rates, sparking mass hysteria and a two-hour wait at the fuel pumps as motorists scramble for unleaded gas at 78 cents a gallon.
Inside the store, the point-of-sale systems are trapped in the past. Heavy CRT monitors display the date in glowing green text, ringing up 59-cent Snickers bars and dispensing complimentary AOL 100-hour free trial discs. Adding to the chronological disorientation, the store's intercom system is malfunctioning, endlessly looping Juvenile's 1999 hit "Back That Azz Up" at an uncomfortably high volume.
The financial anomaly has drawn a bizarre crowd, including several patrons who appear to have immediately donned FUBU jerseys and frosted their hair to celebrate the savings. Manager Jacob (gay) has reportedly locked himself in the electrical closet in a frantic attempt to reboot the router, while Second Shift Lead Cashier Colby Kappleman is using a tire iron to maintain order among throngs of customers hoarding 89-cent Diet Cokes.
"Expect total chaos until we can bring our systems up to modern times," management warned in a brief statement. Until the mainframe is repaired, cashiers are strictly limiting the 23-cent Reese's Miniatures to five per customer.