Celina 52 Seeks Owner of Massive Fleshy Appendage Found in Parking Lot

CROSSVILLE, TN — A routine lot sweep at the Celina 52 Truck Stop yielded an unusual discovery this weekend when lot worker Nevaeh Petty recovered a massive, flesh-colored rubber arm from the asphalt. The three-foot-tall synthetic appendage, which terminates in a tightly clenched fist, was located near the diesel pumps.

Petty, whose primary duties usually involve retrieving discarded trucker urine jugs, proudly displayed the towering, pliable limb outside the main entrance on Sunday afternoon. Management formally suspects the oversized silicone limb separated from a roadside monument or historical statue being transported by a careless semi-truck.

"It's surprisingly heavy, very veiny for a monument, and has a remarkably flared base," Petty noted, carefully cradling the smooth, peach-colored cylinder against her pink windbreaker. "We just want to get it back to its rightful owner so they can reattach it to their giant."

Celina 52 officials are urging the owner of the disembodied fist to claim it at the front desk immediately, before 2nd Shift Lead Cashier Colby Kappleman figures out a way to use it as a crowd control baton on suspected shoplifters.