Celina 52 Deploys Pre-Owned Supercar to Combat Fuel Drive-Offs

CROSSVILLE, TN — Celina 52 Truck Stop management confirmed the strategic purchase of a pre-owned Lamborghini for $350,000 this week. The striking red supercar, currently stationed beneath the facility's extensive array of two dozen awning-mounted security cameras, will serve as the primary rapid-response pursuit vehicle for gas theft drive-offs.

The acquisition is part of a broader corporate pivot toward high-end asset protection. To complement the upgraded exterior aesthetic, management has installed new red signage beside the main entryway reading, "POORS: SIGN WAIVER BEFORE COMING INSIDE," ensuring lower-income patrons legally acknowledge liability before entering the premises.

"This investment allows us to intercept a stolen twenty dollars' worth of unleaded fuel at over two hundred miles per hour," stated second shift lead cashier Colby Kappleman, who has designated himself as the primary tactical driver. Management subsequently issued a public directive barring anyone earning less than $500,000 annually from offering financial commentary regarding the supercar's maintenance costs.

"If your tax bracket isn't comparable to the Herniple family portfolio, your fiscal opinions mean absolutely nothing to us," Kappleman added, polishing the hood while wearing his tactical vest.