Celina 52 Cashier Colby suffers permanent erection from Spider Bite

CELINA, TN – A Celina 52 Truck Stop employee is on the road to recovery after a recent encounter with a venomous spider. Colby Kappleman, a cashier at the popular truck stop, was bitten by what has been identified as a Brazilian Wandering Spider last week while stocking bananas in the produce section.

According to reports, Colby experienced a sharp pain in his arm followed by the onset of symptoms. He was able to capture the spider, which was later identified by experts.

While we are relieved to report that Colby is expected to make a full recovery, the incident has caused some unforeseen complications. As a result of the spider's venom, Colby is currently experiencing a persistent side effect: a prolonged erection.

In a bizarre turn of events, the truck stop is now in possession of the captured spider and is exploring the possibility of selling its venom. "We've received several inquiries from customers who are intrigued by the potential benefits of this particular venom," CEO Dennis Herniple commented. "While we are not in a position to make any medical claims, we are considering offering it for sale to interested parties who are over the age of 21."

Celina 52 Truck Stop would like to assure customers that this was an isolated incident. "We maintain the highest standards of cleanliness and safety," Herniple emphasized. "We believe the spider may have hitched a ride on a shipment of bananas. Also please keep in mind that we do sell bananas for a very reasonable price, they are a great snack for truckers trying to stay healthy."

The truck stop remains open for business and continues to offer a wide range of products and services to the trucking community. Management is taking extra precautions to prevent any future incidents, including increased inspections of produce shipments. In addition, Rodney has been put in charge of these inspections and will shoot on sight any other venomous spiders.

Celina 52 Truck Stop asks that you keep Colby in your thoughts during his recovery.

For further inquiries, please contact:

Celina 52 Truck Stop Management
931-313-6045